Friday, September 30, 2011

I've got a "thing" with public pools

Well now that my baby is longer a baby, she's started to do things that don't really invovle me: preschool, playing at the park and swimming lessons. Now to be honest I'm so glad that swimming lessons don't require parent participation because may I just say that public pools are disgusting...yeah I'm sure there is lots of pee in the pool and all those people that create human stew in the jacuzzi, but for me that's not the worst of it...oh no far from it, for me the most vile part of the public pool is the's everywhere, it's unavoidable and it is gross. I cringe when other people put their bare feet on this floor, the half wet, kind of muddy, with the occasional clump of hair and why is there ALWAYS a used bandaid...for the love of all things holy why the bandaid??? This neurosis is all on me, I get it, it's my problem...but I am seriously struggling not to make it the littlies's already rubbing off on her. Is it such a bad thing to want to avoid other people's filth...I mean is it really?

Friday, March 25, 2011

To ghetto or not to ghetto?

For the record, the playgournd isn't even THIS!

So we've moved back out to I'm not saying Langford is the ghetto at all...for all of you who jump to conclusions, I think it's quite problem lies with the park situation, or lack there of.  In our brand new neighbourhood and by new I mean everything is new...there is no park and I don't believe they plan to build one  There really does seem to be a shortage of parks out this way...oh sure there is the abandoned elementary school behind our hood which does have two little park areas, however, one has no swings and they have stripped all of the backboards of their nets...oh and I am continually walking past empty condom's March for crying out loud...who is having sex outdoors????  I suppose I should just rejoice that they are safe, however, not from exposure...ouch!  I digress...where are the friggin parks...if anyone knows, please tell me.  Should I even be complaining about the sad state of parks out here when, at our last park, which was inconveniently located a stones throw away from EMP (for those of you who are unfamiliar with these three little letters, it is Victoria's Mental Health and Addiction Services Institute)...which means that on any given day you might find someone smoking crack on a park bench located beside the slides and monkey bars, or catch a view of a half-naked man covered in fiberglass whipping through the park to avoid the's should I complain that I have to drive to take Sylvie to a park or that I have to look at condom wrappers or that the park near our house is always eerily unoccupied...hmmm???  It's hard to say...I can complain about just about anything at any given time, so really why stop now....but it is a valid question non?...if you know of a secret park out here please let me know.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Hell hath no fury...

like a woman who has given birth to a 10 pound baby! (6 ounces shy of 10 pounds means nothing to me).

I feel like I should be thrown a parade or something and reserve the right to be bitter about the fact that no one is throwing me one....doesn't seem fair really.  I'm also still bitter that they forgot my breakfast in the hospital.  It's funny, I swear the nurses check your chart and when they realize that you have another kid at home, they figure you don't need anything and just leave you be...kinda nice, although I'm sure they had food stashed somewhere in one of the many fridges on the floor....i'm sure they could have given me something to eat...ANYTHING!  I'm a constant eater...seriously I eat CONSTANTLY!  So relying on people for food just sucks, to make me just a tad more bitter they forgot my breakfast, oh sure when I finally got it, I didn't eat most of it, because I dont' eat eggs and I couldn't stomach the smell of the oatmeal...but that tiny scone/bun thing was delicious...too bad it was the size of a quarter. Obviously the breakfast/food thing made an impression, I've mentioned it like three times in the same paragraph...sorry about's the hormones :)  Needless to say, I'm so thankful I am no longer pregnant, which is, to me, an unpleasent and alien experience which I plan never to do my babies though...uber cute.

Currently drinking a beer and watching a rather droll hockey game...the beer is making it worth while though...oh beer how i missed you....looking forward to my first run...probably have to wait a few more weeks...maybe I'll go for a run for my birthday...sounds like a glorious idea...we'll see if it works out, I'll keep you posted.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Don't worry mummy, you won't fall in cause you have a big bum...

Ahhhh yeah...if anyone else had said this to me I would, of course, be spoiling for a rumble, but when it's your potty training two year old, somehow, it just seems OK.  I should probably explain; she has this thing where she likes to have an audience while she "tries her pee" the "try" implies she'll give it a go but you aren't guaranteed any result (quite clever on her part...non?)...anyway, she likes her audience a) captive and b) to sit on the large potty, which was fine when she liked you to sit on it with the lid down, but somewhere along the way she decided, perhaps, it was more sporting, to have the lid up to see what her captive/audience would do.  So today, just before nap, she announced that her "nudey booty" needed to "try her pee", so in we go to our porta-potty sized loo to give it a go; she sits and I am about to put the lid down and have a seat, when she announces that "it would be better if I didn't lower the lid, just in case" (I'm not sure what the just in case implies and I don't ask), she then tells me that I "don't need to worry about falling into the potty (clearly a major concern for her) because I have a big bum and it covers the whole seat...ugh!  I'll just leave you with that...sorry if you think it is T.M.I :)

Sooooo it's been a while, glad to be back, quite a bit has happened in the last 6/7 is that much closer to being finished, managed to get knocked up again, hoorah...oh and my daughter became a teenage two year old...feels good and overwhelming at the same time.  I also came to the realization that I am a better baker than I am a cook, I still love to read and have found a couple books that have once again inspired me to get back on track (and one of them was not Pinkalicious), I've also discovered, much to Blaine's delight that there is a building called a L-I-B-R-A-R-Y, I believe, (don't quote me...I'm new) whixh is a valuable resource for books and videos that DO NOT need to be purchased, but can be "borrowed" and returned without fee (it is like the barter system in biblical times...but with the Internet and fancy cards)...I like it!

I won't bore you with the other details, however, i know several of you will find it amusing (as I do) that we are to take possession of the new house 8 days before the baby is no pressure to keep that bun in this oven for as long as humanly possible...even if I'm just about uncomfortable enough to have it right about now...I'd post pictures...but i don't want to scare any of you away...let's just say I am wider with baby outwards than I am width wise...if that makes sense...and just a bit more top heavy...perhaps next I'll write about my stumble through the width of my house...good times...not so nimble this girl.  I know shocker!

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

get your hands out of my mouth...

Do you ever wonder if dentists, hygenists and assistants attempt to see how many hands they can actually get into one person's a game they play.  I mean man, it's bad enough that they stick that dam in there (which regardless of the fact that people think I have a big mouth, is still a relatively small space) with your lips all squished up your face and your mouth held open like some kind of medieval torture, but then they've got to get there hands in there and dig around...intolerable!

I actually have a pretty high pain tolerance, but I am admittedly the biggest suck when it comes to pain in my mouth and today is no exception.  Look...I don't mind the dentist, it's actaully kind of a nice quiet place to chill out; I don't however, appreciate it when people insist on asking me open-ended questions that beg for immediate answers...come on now...can't you see that I'm trying to relax while you have your hands in my mouth; I get that they probably have a knack for understanding gibberish but I don't particularily like speaking it...unless, of course, I'm giving directions...then you can't get me to stop spewing nonsense (see post on giving bad directions)...did it again to my poor brother this evening...i just can't help myself...sorry man.

Anyway, back to the dentist, why does it cost so much? Granted, I realized today how vain I actually am about my teeth, as they replaced a massive amalgam filling with a pretty nondescript white one and I head back for a few more next week and let me tell you...they are FANCY, you can't even tell that they are there, so I suppose I just answered my own question, they are expensive because I am vain and care about how my teeth look and will pay the time you see me, ask me to show you...i totally will...because that's just the way I roll.
oh and I got my swanky new laptop today...happy motha's day to me!  Merci Blaine and Sylvie...xoxoxo.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

I give bad directions...

There it's finally out there...(this is obviously me talking about anything other than what I really want to drone on about...but I've said my peace and will reserve conversations about the 'beloved' for those who care and or know what I'm talking about) for now, I'll speak of directions and my inability to give them.

Today it really hit home, I was attempting to give directions to a friend, to a place that I have been, in a city I have lived in for 35 years and it was as if I rose out my body and was listening to myself give this convoluted mess of directions with these awkward pauses (I know it was because I was calculating which way was left and  right, without doing that 'L' thing with your hand...YOU know what I'm talking about, don't try to deny it), I was embarrassed for myself and yet I could not stop talking, and I realized that Blaine and the majority of my friends were right, I give REALLY bad directions.  WAY too much detail, confusion about left and right (don't you dare judge me), the anxiety that I might get it wrong and send them to an alternate stupid I know, but I think it's actually a documented syndrome...i will soon be taking medication for it, you can be sure of that.  But seriously, what the hell, I know of which I speak and yet I could not get to you to where you wanted to go, if my life or yours depended on it. The lesson in all of this...just don't ask and you won't have to be embarrassed for me as I stutter and pause my way through giving you directions to somewhere as simple as downtown.

Monday, May 24, 2010

today it hurts to smile

no not because I had work done (although ask me again on wednesday when I will have had work done), but because my beloved ended, are beloveds allowed to end?  I thought they were timeless, all encomapssing and never-ending...i guess two out of three isn't bad. Ah LOST, you will be missed with your mindf*%kery, time-bending stories, your handsome men and beautiful kickass women (Claire, even in your state of crazy you were lovely, dirty, but lovely) Kate, I hate you as much as I love you and Sun, so tragic.  The finale made me sob recklessly in the company of friends wearing costumes and eating dharma snacks, including some polar bear cupcakes, which were delicious Erin, thank you.  I have questions, but can't seem to talk about them right now (it just hurts too much..sob)...i'll wait...i'll let them perculate...and then I will start watching all over again, and again and again...huh...maybe it can be never-ending...oh sure I know what your thinking, Claire isn't the only one that's three cups of crazy, but hey...that's just the way I roll.